The nameless soldier
by Cissmoll
Summary: "'Start running,' Lightning said. 'I'll keep them busy.'" What if Snow and Fang hadn't arrived in Palumpolum in time? Angst.


"Start running," Lightning said. "I'll keep them busy."

At first, Hope didn't understand. He turned around and stared at her back. "But—"

"You survive."

Hope took a step back, and then another. He wanted to argue with her, to say that they had to stay together, but he couldn't make a sound. His heart was pounding in his chest. There were soldiers everywhere. Lightning unfolded her gunblade, preparing for battle. Suddenly, Hope realized what she was planning to do. Lightning, the brave, strong woman who had protected him ever since he became a l'Cie, was going to take on an entire army to make sure he could get away. She was going to sacrifice herself so he could live.

Lightning cast a quick glance over her shoulder as the PSICOM soldiers slowly approached her. If she was afraid, she didn't show it. Hope was more afraid than he'd ever been in his entire life, but the woman in front of him looked calm and determined. She looked like a soldier.

"What are you waiting for?" she hissed. "Run!"

Hope ran. He could hear gunshots coming from behind him, but none of the bullets were sent in his direction. He wanted to turn around, to see if Lightning was okay, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. His legs just kept running, taking him further and further away from the scene. _I'm a coward, _he thought as he hid in a dim-lit trench outside one of Palumpolum's futuristic apartment complexes. He could still hear explosions and screaming coming from the plaza. _She was my partner and I left her behind._

He hugged his knees close to his chest. The trench was almost impossible to find if you didn't exactly know where to look, something he'd found out when he used to play hide and seek with his friends in grade school. No one would find him there. He was safe. _But at what cost?_

His body was shaking, and for a moment he felt like he was about to throw up. Deep inside, he'd known it was a bad idea to go to Palumpolum. He'd known that it was the first place the PSICOM soldiers would look for him. Still, he'd let Lightning help him get to his father. He'd led her here. He'd led her right into their trap.

Hope hid in the trench for hours. When darkness fell, he finally dared to crawl out in the open. Carefully, he walked back to the plaza, his heart skipping a beat every time he heard a sound or saw a shadow move. _Coward, _he thought to himself. _I'm a coward._

When he finally reached the place where the PSICOM soldiers had ambushed them, the plaza looked like a battlefield. All the buildings had broken windows, every piece of furniture had been turned over and there were bullet holes in every wall.

"Light" he whispered, searching for clues about what could have happened to her. "Light, where are you?"

A dark patch on the ground caught his eye. He kneeled down and carefully touched it. _Blood. _A couple of meters away, the trail continued. The dark spots grew bigger the further away from the plaza he got. The last spot was still damp and left a deep red stain on his glove.

He found her in a trench, not unlike the one he'd hid in himself. She was sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall. Her white vest was covered in red stains, and blood was trickling from the corner of her mouth. Her face looked peaceful, almost as if she was asleep. For a moment, Hope thought he'd already lost her, but then he saw her chest move. She was still breathing.

"Light?" Hope sat down next to her and grabbed her shoulders, shaking her gently. "Light, you have to wake up. You have to wake up now."

"Serah?" she whispered hoarsely.

"No, it's me," Hope said. "It's Hope."

She forced her eyes open. "You're . . . you're okay?" she asked, raising her hand to touch his face.

Hope faked a smile. "I'm okay."

"Good." Lightning took a deep, shivering breath. "You're supposed to be with your father. Why are you still here?"

Hope put his hand over hers, his eyes tearing up. "I couldn't leave you behind. Partners don't abandon each other."

"Oh." Lightning closed her eyes again, a small smile playing on her lips. "Right."

She let out a final breath, and then she stopped moving altogether. Her hand dropped from Hope's cheek and fell to the ground.

"Hey, stay with me," Hope said, shaking her lightly again.

Lightning didn't move. He shook her harder, but still didn't get a reaction. _No, _he thought, _it's not right, it's not okay, she can't be . . . _

He tried all the healing spells he could come up with, but nothing helped. Her body was damaged beyond repair, so broken not even l'Cie powers could heal it. He stared at his gloved hands, which were now drenched in blood. She had bullet wounds all over her body, but they were barely bleeding anymore. Her heart had already stopped.

In the end, Hope had no choice but to accept the truth. Lightning was gone.

Hope took off his gloves and gently wiped the blood off her face with his thumb. She looked different now that she could no longer keep up her soldier facade. Younger. He had always thought of people over twenty as adults, but when he looked at Lightning's motionless face, he didn't see an adult. All he could see was a girl. A dead, broken girl.

He collapsed next to her, tears rolling down his cheeks. He hadn't cried when his mother died or when the fal'Cie branded him as a l'Cie, but now, he finally allowed the tears to fall. For the first time since the whole l'Cie mess started, things felt _real. _Lightning was gone. His mother was gone. He would most likely never meet his father again. The life as he knew it was gone forever, and he was all alone.

He took her hand in his. It surprised him how small it was—it wasn't that much bigger than his. He entwined his fingers with hers and closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I should never have left you. I should have tried to protect you. I'm so sorry."

* * *

><p>Hours later, Snow and a black-haired woman in strange clothing showed up.<p>

"Hope! You're alright!" Snow exclaimed, grinning widely. "I knew Lightning would . . ." His grin disappeared the moment he noticed the dead body next to Hope. He sank to his knees, staring at her in shock. "Is that . . . is she . . . ?"

"Yeah," Hope replied monotonously. "We were ambushed by PSICOM soldiers. She's gone."

"Damn it!" Snow yelled, punching the ground hard enough to leave an indent in the metal plate. "We were too late . . . Serah, I failed you . . . "

"I'm sorry about your friend, but we really have to leave," said the black-haired woman. Hope couldn't place her thick accent, but she was clearly not from Palumpolum.

"I need a moment, Fang," Snow snapped. "She was my sister."

Hope felt his hatred for the man flare up again. "What was her name?" he asked, staring at Snow.

Snow blinked. "Her name?"

"Yeah, what was her real name? If she was your sister, she would have told you her name."

Snow fell silent. Seconds passed before he finally answered, "I don't know. She never told me."

They both stared at her body. Hope referred to the body as _hers, _since calling it _Lightning's _didn't feel right. She wasn't Lightning anymore. Lightning was the soldier, the fake persona she put on to seem strong and invincible. The body in front of him didn't belong to that soldier. The body belonged to a girl, whose name Hope would never know.

"We have to leave," Fang said. "We can't stay here."

Snow nodded and stood up. "Come on, Hope. Time to go."

Hope stared at him. "You're just going to leave her here?"

Snow lowered his eyes in shame. "We can't take her with us."

"I'm not leaving her!" Hope growled. He had already left her once, and that had led to her death. He would not leave her again. _Partners don't abandon each other._

Fang gave Snow a hard look. "You know what you have to do."

Snow nodded and sighed. "I'm sorry, Hope," he said before picking Hope up and throwing him over his shoulder. "We're taking you home to your father."

"No!" Hope yelled, flailing wildly. "Let me down! I won't abandon her!"

He kicked and punched Snow over and over, but Snow didn't even react. He and Fang climbed out of the trench and began to run. Hope could only watch as the girl's broken body slowly disappeared into the distance. He felt like a piece of his heart had just been ripped out. He wished he'd known her name, but he knew it wouldn't have made that much of a difference. It wouldn't make her less dead.

_But it would have made people remember as a person, _he thought, giving up his meaningless struggle. _Now, she's just another nameless soldier in another pointless war. _He promised himself that he wouldn't remember her as the strong, aggressive woman she wanted everyone to think she was. He would remember her as the girl who took care of him, even though she was so scared she could barely take care of herself. The girl who smiled at him, even though she was slowly bleeding to death. He would remember _her_.

_I will survive, _he promised himself, _and I will avenge her. Her and mom. _He closed his eyes, feeling something break deep inside him.

_Cocoon will burn for this._


End file.
